Carlyn Beccia's Raucous Royals opens with that famous rumor concerning Count Dracula: was he or was he not a real vampire?
Perhaps we'll never know. But for all those bona fide vampires in your life (including whatshisname to my left), Carlyn recommends these methods of disposal:
1. A wooden stake through the heart
2. A copper bullet
3. Stones up his nose
4. A cross in his grave
5. A garlic pizza
If you're feeling especially brave today, mention this post to a random female teenager. We recommend having said wooden stake handy (or wearing running shoes).
For more information about vampires, visit Carlyn's blog.